Sports fan in a bar

So today I went to a bar to watch some football, and there was a guy there by himself. He was sitting at the bar, and was very into So whenever something happened, he would make a comment about it. But he wasn't talking to anyone. The bartender was not there, I was facing away from him, as was the person on the other side of him. He was clearly talking to himself/trying to talk the players on the field.

Now I found this odd, as people talking through the TV is usually considered weird, especially with no in person audience to enjoy the comment. But I got the feeling this was the norm, that this kind of thing happens a lot at bars.

So I think if you are going crazy, and starting to talk to yourself, but you want to hide it, just become a sports fan, and hang out in bars. No one will ever know.

Annoying classmate 2.0, Co-worker

I you are ever in a situation where you are working in the same place as the annoying classmate, I feel for you. I am in that situation, and it sucks. It turns out he has some other horrible traits that may be common amongst annoying classmates in general.

The first is that he feels the need to put his input into any conversation that is going on, with either a correction, or what he thinks is an interesting fact or thought about the subject. It is never interesting, and his little chuckle at his own joke afterward drives me insane. No one else ever chuckles...everyone else is just looking at each other with pain in their eyes, all mentally shouting at each other "AHH, MAKE HIM SHUT UP". But most of us are too polite to actually say anything.

This brings me to the the next characteristic, he doesn't realize no one likes him. Perhaps it is just a defense mechanism, telling himself that he has friends, and that people enjoy his company. But regardless, the group has been throwing hints all the time, and he just never catches them. One time, a girl in the group openly told him, "shut up, no one likes you", and it was not in a kidding way. It was point blank serious, and he just brushed it off, like it was nothing, and continued acting as usual.

So what is the solution to this problem? Good question, very good question in fact, glad you asked. It is very tough, because if you do anything drastic, you could get reported to a manager (I have no doubt he would be a tattle tail), and also, it is a very socially awkward thing to do, telling someone no one enjoys his company. So here is my plan, and if it goes well, I will be sure to post about it:

Step one, invite him to happy hour, and say you have already invited everyone. Invite no one else. (Also, it is important you don't have a tab, just pay cash)

Step two, when he gets there, meet him, and say everyone bailed.

Step three, start up a conversation about what he thinks about the different people in the group. No doubt he will have something bad to say about at least a few of them, and start him down this path by laughing at some of them.

Step four, get REALLY offended by one of his remarks, and say you he were just laughing at the other ones to be nice, and you think he is a horrible person (throw in racist if you can). Say you don't want to hang out anymore.

Step five, when he tries to apologize, flip him the bird, and walk away. Because you don't have a tab, and he probably does, he can't chase after you. This leaves him in one of two states of mind. Either he wants to avoid you, because he now correctly thinks you hate him(in which case WIN), or he REALLY wants you to accept his apology.

Optional Step six, if the case is the latter of step five, whenever he starts a conversation with you, just walk away. And if he sits at your table, or goes where you are, just glare at him, and whisper something into the ear of the person next to you. He will think you are spreading the horrible thing he said, and want to leave before being questioned about it.

Well, not sure when I am going to try this, but wish me luck!

Greetings

Greetings have always been confusing to me. There are many situations where I am not sure how to greet someone, or even if I should greet them.

So I sit in an office with a guy, and when I get in, I usually mumble a "sup", and go to my chair. That is all well and good, but what happens when we are both in the hallway, and we pass each other? If it was anyone else I knew, I would greet them with a "hey", or wave, or even have a legitimate talk with them. But I have already greeted my office-mate, greeting him again seems wrong. And we can always just talk, and the other guy hears it, so we don't have any need to catch up in the hall. So we both end up looking away from each other, and quickly pass each other.

When I walk into a room of guys and girls that I know about half of, and they get introduced, I am not sure whether or not to go in for the handshake on all of them. If they present their hand I do, and if the president has been set I do, but if they are kinda far away, does the wave cut it? Does the first meeting of a person require physical contact? I say it does not, eye contact is enough to start a relationship.

Then there is the classic, almost the same as leaving situation. Walking into a room with a mix of guys and girls that you have not seen a a while. The girls almost always want a hug, while the guys usually go for a handshake, or variant of a handshake(like a fist bump, or a grab and tap). But if the first greeting is with a girl, and you hug, then the next greeting is a guy right next to her, and you know each other pretty well, there's a chance he goes in for an awkward hug. Now if that lands, you are in for it, everyone in the room is going to hug you, whether you like it or not, so I suggest saving a girl for last, so you don't end your greetings with an unwanted hug.

Ok, next situation, you are walking past a complete stranger, anywhere. I go for the, ignore their existence strategy. But this can lead you into trouble, if they greet you. When they say something like "good morning", you are obligated to respond somehow, but you are in ignore mode, so it usually ends with "yo", or something else really short and not heart felt.

Now here's a situation that doesn't come up as often as it used to. The phone. How do you greet people who you don't know on the phone? I usually just let them talk for a while, get an idea of why they called me, then either respond to them, or tell them i'm not interested in upgrading my phone plan, because I hate talking on phones!